Book of secrets page 478/16/2023 Justin Bartha spends 15 minutes trying to convince Diane Kruger that the moon landing was filmed on a soundstage.ĩ0 minutes of Justin Bartha taking his glasses on and off.īlythe Roberson is a contributor to The Onion, ClickHole, and The New Yorker. They decide that turning this whole thing into a movie would be cultural appropriation, so they leave.Ī note hidden inside the Bible used to swear Jimmy Carter into office reveals the existence of a huge cache of historical documents on the moon. Nic Cage notices some petroglyphs that lead to a vast Puebloan treasure. The gang goes to Frijoles Canyon in New Mexico. “I only love America.”Ī film that’s just four hours of the joke structure “The real national treasure is…” “Sorry, I don’t know shit about Jesus,” Nic Cage says. The journey to get him back leads the gang to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon, where a Grail Knight challenges Nic Cage to identify the true grail. Nic Cage’s father gets kidnapped by Nazis while searching for the Holy Grail. It turns out the gold was inside Old Faithful, where it has long since melted. The search takes the gang to the first National Park, Yellowstone. In a rediscovered recording of the Fireside Chats, Franklin Roosevelt reveals in pig latin that his relative Teddy Roosevelt hid a massive amount of gold somewhere, but got blackout drunk and forgot where. The movie ends with Trump and Cruz drowning in a secret underwater palace on Cape Cod. It falls to Nic Cage to discover the truth. Justin Bartha hasn’t seen that movie, so Nic Cage spends 5 minutes explaining the plot.ĭonald Trump accuses Ted Cruz’s father of being involved in JFK’s assassination. “Oh, this is the place from Close Encounters Of The Third Kind,” Nic Cage realizes. Nic Cage carries a torch for the entire movie, even during when it’s fully light outside.Ī map on the back of the Articles Of Confederation leads the gang to Devil’s Tower in northern Wyoming. There are three separate scenes where Justin Bartha falls into a big hole.ĭiane Kruger realizes that if you read the Federalist Papers backwards, they reveal the location of a famous shipwreck. Everyone is really forced to confront their white privilege. Nic Cage is forced to kidnap former Chicago resident Barack Obama, who agrees not to press charges if he is allowed to use the movie to plug healthcare.Ī riddle contained in the newly designed but not yet released $20 bill alerts Nic Cage and company to the fact that Harriet Tubman hid millions of dollars of stolen Confederate treasure along the route of the Underground Railroad. We finally learn what was on page 47 of the Book Of Secrets: a crossword in the margins of the Northwest Ordinance reveals there’s a bunch of emeralds hidden in what is now Chicago. I would like to serve my country by jumpstarting the writing process. It has been nine years since a National Treasure film was released the third is apparently in a script-related delay. I love the movies NATIONAL TREASURE and NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS, because my three favorite things in the world are America, treasure, and hot young men (Justin Bartha) in glasses. But that conflicts with his revealed birth-date of Augfrom the episode " Charlotte", as the events of the series take place in 2022 as revealed on Sadusky's autopsy result in episode " Graceland Gambit", which would make him 84 at the time of his death.The world needs that third installment in the franchise Even the Articles of Confederation took a few drafts to write. Peter Sadusky is mistakenly called 87 years old in" I'm a Ghost", and " Bad Romance".Also if anyone has any information on the 3rd installment that would be fantastic. Some of them I know are: Area 51, Roanoke colony, the Georgia Guidestones and so on and so forth. Just wondering what kind of conspiracies are out there. Sometime after Jess left he was murdered in his home by Agent Hendricks, who then used his FBI affiliation to search for the envelope. As many of you know page 47 of the book of secrets is. Peter gives an envelope to Jess addressed to his grandson Liam with clues to find a treasure. In 2001 Peter Sadusky recorded a tape about the Montezuma's Treasure in his office. However, he warns that no one can read its contents without express permission from the sitting President of the United States. Peter, to his regret, tells Gates about the President's Book of Secrets, which has the answers to every unknown question in American history. On a tip from Ben, the FBI arrests Ian for kidnapping and other crimes. Later, Ben contacts Sadusky, who is actually a Freemason, and surrenders the Declaration and the treasure's location in exchange for letting Abigail Chase go free, giving the Gates family and Riley Poole credit for the discovery, and no prison sentence. FBI Agent Sadusky begins tracking Ben down.
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